Posted on 2 Comments

Sleepless in the Saddle – Liz Leighton

Equestrian Awareness – Tiredness & Fatigue

Elizabeth (Liz) Leighton – Horse Safety Australia Accredited Senior Instructor
Partner Ian Leighton Horsemanship

I’ve been thinking about the realities of the working lifestyle and riding over a few years now, and have found myself at times struggling to find the motivation to push myself further with my riding.  I’ve since discovered that much of this is due to stress and physical imbalances that have manifested themselves at times as lethargy and a lack of mental focus.  I am a continual work in progress to be a better, fitter and more mentally present horsewoman, and am fortunate to have a great support network to help me on this path.

A discussion a while ago with my nephew about his post graduate studies into sleep disorders, fatigue, routines and disruptions in high risk industries started me thinking about the impact of  fatigue in equestrian activities.  I’m not just referring to workplace or competitive environments but also recreational and trail riding activities as well as general handling.

I’ve had a number of conversations over the years with horse owners following injury, returning to the saddle after recovery or making the difficult Continue reading Sleepless in the Saddle – Liz Leighton

Posted on 1 Comment

Discovering Relaxation & Softness – Liz Leighton

I’ve been reading a little lately about relaxation and softness of mind and body, and put a few words down to remind myself periodically of what I’m working to achieve in my horsemanship.

I read recently where someone questioned the difference between softness and lightness, or soft/light, and what it means in horsemanship. It made me think through how these terms are used so often, and often aren’t explained. Whilst many good horsemen/horsewomen will often interchange these terms so that they are in essence speaking of the same thing, what it should translate to Continue reading Discovering Relaxation & Softness – Liz Leighton

Posted on 2 Comments

Keeping it Real

Real Women who Ride

Keeping it Real

I’ve been enjoying some travel time with Ian, teaching and supporting Ian’s training workshops as well as finding a bit more time for myself and our own horses.    I’m not much for annual resolutions, but taking some time out at home for the holiday break I’ve found myself thinking about what I set out to accomplish during 2017, and found that my path meandered along as I found new things to be inspired about.  I don’t believe that our path in life is straight, and it’s the winding bends that sometimes reveal the most amazing view.

View from the Spirit of Tasmania – Bass Strait

I have aspirations for my horsemanship, goals if you like, things that I am continually working towards.  It is only on reflection that I realise I’ve achieved more than I think I did.

There is no doubt that working with horses requires a great many qualities, both internal and external, but I think the most important is having an honest dialogue with yourself.  Regardless of your level of riding ability, we can all do little things to make a difference in our pursuit to be better horsemen and horsewomen.

This week I had thoughts that I had disappointed my horse – I set myself up for failure by not keeping the situation real.  My failure was small in the scheme of things, I lost my balance riding and had an unexpected dismount.  Nothing hurt, but I worried my horse during the process – on remounting I had to suck it up a little, find that inner confidence, and accept that I had created the situation and was accountable for what occurred.

Accepting that things don’t always go to plan is part of the process, there is an inherent risk in working with horses, and one that in order to progress we must be mindful of.   One thing I know, I need to work harder off the horse on my fitness, core strength and balance, so that on the horse these critical things are more solid.  This is never more evident as a mature rider than when returning to riding after a break, bringing horses back into work after a spell, riding young or green horses, or when building on training techniques which require me to have control over how my body operates so that I can more readily maintain and correct my balance.    I need to spend more time in the saddle, working on what needs to be worked on to get these things solid.  Never forget those foundations – the basics of softness, balance and relaxation, and allowing my horse to move forward encouraging these elements, and breathe so that I remain soft, balanced and relaxed.

One thing I am now more confident and secure with is keeping the whole thing real.  I am at where I am at physically, and acknowledging this as I work on being a more fluid, balanced rider is liberating.  Taking the realistic approach allows me to take a step back as I need to, and then taking that step forward with the knowledge that I am more capable and committed to doing the work that needs to be done.

This is where we need to keep it real.  To progress as riders, we need to be physically up to the challenge, and it can be a challenge.  This past 12 months I’ve worked steadily to be more physically up to the demands of riding, and in having this honest dialogue with myself, I need to do more.  This doesn’t mean signing up to the gym or running up mountains.  For me it means doing more exercise in a way that fits in with the demands of my lifestyle, and committing fully to the daily exercises set by my physio in order to have my body functioning in a more dependable way.   To life an active life, I have to be more active – and let’s be honest, working with horses is active.

I am fortunate to meet many riders in our travels, from many different backgrounds, with vastly varying degrees of ability, experience and fitness, each one balancing the demands of their life with their desire to improve as horsemen and horsewomen.   We all have one thing in common, our love of our horses and a willingness to do better by them.  Keeping our successes and failures real and in perspective is important to our growth as riders, and to do better by them we must work to do better by ourselves.  If you need a motivation to work on your fitness, remember how much it will benefit your horse and your riding.  Find those 30 minutes a day to do that something better, find them to feel better and live better.  If you need a reason to find those 30 minutes, look at your horse.

I will continue to work on this as we do everything, both on and off the horse – one step at a time.

Oh, and sometimes the view from home is the very best view of all.

Liz Leighton © January 2018

Posted on Leave a comment

Harder versus Smarter?

 

Liz enjoying a ride

Recently after a conversation with a wonderful friend, I started thinking about modern life and the common belief that to be successful you just needed to work harder.  There is no doubt, to be successful takes dedication, perseverance and commitment, but perhaps it also takes a rightly timed opportunity and sometimes just a little bit of luck.

I once heard someone in a position of professional influence state that if young employees wanted to get ahead in their career they would need to work harder and for longer hours for no more reward than their contracted wage or salary – that was the thing that would be recognised and the way professionally forward and up.  With an extensive career in organisations that supported this management style, I’d had some experience with the pressure placed on people and the stress and reduction in overall productivity that resulted.

From what was said, it could easily be interpreted the perceived act of working harder and longer hours was in some way more important that the substance produced.    How could an observer identify whether that time was used productively or efficiently?  A person could also take from this that even if they gave it their very best in fair exchange for what was being offered, why was the expectation for more the thing that would be ultimately rewarded.

Perhaps this is not what the speaker intended, however the management context in which it was said made me question this overall corporate and often adapted lifestyle ethos.    It set me wondering about how we interpret the concept of working harder and how we apply it to what we do.  Did quantity outweigh quality, and if they were to be considered equal, why was there an acceptance that more for no more in return was ethical.  How did it transpire that establishing an environment of inequality could still elicit loyalty, effort and ultimately success?

I am very aware of the consequence of working long pressured hours, and the resulting occupational disengagement, burnout and stress that results.   I am also aware of situations where this approach has been applied to horse training, and the consequences.

 

It made me think that if this speaker applied this approach to working with horses, how successful would they be? Could they believe working a horse harder, or faster, for longer periods, with little or no release or reward would extract more potential or achieve a greater training result in a shorter time?
 
If we trained horses the way many corporations manage people, how successful would we be?
 

I think most horse people would agree that this approach and mental attitude would not encourage or foster successful sustainable development or training.  Working a horse physically harder or for longer periods won’t expedite a more positive result – it would likely be detrimental to long term physical and psychological development.

I thought about my life and the capacity we have to influence others through our own actions.   It made me think about my personal professional philosophy of fostering and supporting a proactive and engaged team-based environment, and that a sense of contributory equality and maintaining this balance was the key to long term mutual success.

Horses and people have a lot in common.  Pushing either to the point of frustration or exhaustion is neither productive or conducive to long term success.    Expecting a result when neither has the developed skill set to successfully demonstrate or deliver the desired outcome is an exercise in futility, nothing will improve unless you ensure the foundations are in place.  And foundations are more than just the basics, foundations are everything accumulated through learning and experience up to the point we are at now.   This takes time, guidance and practice.  In fact, you never stop building those foundations.

Corporate management could learn a lot from good horsemen and horsewomen.  It’s not about how hard or fast or long, it’s about encouraging and creating solid foundations which foster and encourage a positive work ethic, and importantly recognising effort and rewarding it that makes good training.

There needs to be sense of equality between the parties.  Creating and maintaining a healthy balance as incrementally you improve on what’s already there is how you build success.  In fact, creating a healthy and sustainable lifestyle works the same way.

Sometimes this means working a little slower and removing the pressure, and taking the time to fully understand and get the task at hand done well.  You have to be consistent and fair to yourself, and others working with you, and apply yourself to the best of your ability taking into account the foundations also held by the rest of your team.

Perhaps if corporations managed people like the way we should be training our horses, they could have a more willing, engaged and contributing workforce.   Finding and maintaining that equitable balance, where effort is recognised and rewarded.  That really would be applying the more modern concept of working smarter, not harder.

Just a thought…………

Liz Leighton © July 2017

Posted on Leave a comment

Standing still ……….

We live in a era of instant gratification, with so much technology at our fingertips, and many things take less time to achieve or obtain than ever before.

Learning good horsemanship is an exception to this. Despite all the technological advances, and our easy access to so much more information, horsemanship still takes time, patience and practice. There are no shortcuts or express lanes to buy your way through. It is an art you could spend a lifetime learning and still and not to know it all.

Encouraging students, particularly those who are entrenched in an instant gratification fast-moving culture, to slow things down and be relaxed and patient is a critical element to developing solid skills. Even more so for those working with young horses.

Remember it’s not about the time it takes you to get there, it’s how you get there. It’s a good excuse in a busy modern life to slow things down, breathe deeper, relax and enjoy the process. Sometimes we learn the most standing still for just a few moments.

Liz Leighton © June 2017

Posted on Leave a comment

Things that stick…….

Things That Stick

There are a few things that have stuck with me through the last 15 years or so, which have had a direct influence on how I view my relationship with myself as a rider, and my relationship with my horse.

Like many women with some life experience behind them, I’d had a long break from regular riding and horse ownership, while raising my son, holding down a corporate career and focussing on getting through those teenage years as a single parent unscathed.  I’d had a number of health-related issues, and was neither fit nor in good riding shape.  This continues to be a work in progress to this day.  On graduating as the parent of a fully functioning independent adult, I took a great step into the unknown, sold up, packed up and left the city and moved to a small house half way up a mountain with a few acres outside of Hobart.  The primary reason for this, I wanted to get back to my love of horses and ride regularly again, and I wanted to be able to breathe fully again.   Years of corporate life seem to have a way of restricting how deeply you breathe – my life was a locked in a vice-grip.

Living up the mountain allowed for some release, as I started to plan how my life should move forward.

My first horse acquired after the big move came about through emotional blackmail – well, maybe not that dramatic, but he was an old standardbred, with more than a few racing starts under his belt, and more conformation faults than any other horse I have seen since.  He was a “take him or the alternative isn’t so great” offer, and I figured if he worked out as a trail horse that would do him just fine, if not he would have a comfortable retirement.  Unfortunately for me, his soundness issues became evident very early on, and fortunately for him he landed in my paddock, well fed and cared for with his paddock buddies up until his last day.

Jordie taught me a great lesson – all horses find you for a reason and I learnt so much about conformation from that horse, and his resilience was obvious.  I was grateful he came into my life and it still brings me joy that he was able to have a comfortable (and long) retirement in our care.   He deserved it.

I took time with taking on my next horse, and spent time riding with a friend who taught me many things.  Her horses were seasoned and coped with my lack of fitness & finesse as I struggled to get my middle-aged body fully riding functional.  Let’s not kid ourselves, there are muscles used when riding that get little exposure when your primary daily activity is sitting in an office.  Even the regular walks to the coffee shop (and a few gym sessions on the side) aren’t enough to pull those suckers into gear.  So, I worked on things and committed to my lessons, and worked on what needed to be worked on to become a better rider.

Finding Spirit was a team effort, through the generosity of contacts I’d put out a bit of a quiet S.O.S. to find that elusive mount, the “middle-aged lady returning to riding” horse.  Those things are rare for good reason, once you have one you never want to let them go.  I got lucky.    Together we had lessons, lots of lessons, from finding our forward to working on dressage manoeuvres and made our way together.   I had no delusions about my lack of ability, and put the work in to improve at a rate we both could manage.

I still remember the day someone at a lesson group described Spirit as “tolerant”.  At the time, I thought it was a compliment, yes, my horse was very forgiving of his somewhat unbalanced, unfit rider who is trying to learn how to give him a more comfortable life.   He is a lovely horse, the type that patiently waited for me to sort myself out, and picked me up when my balance wasn’t great.  I made a lot of mistakes and he would give me that “look” but always made me feel safe enough to try again.  He did the same with Maddi in his later ridden years, forgiving her mistakes and waiting patiently for her to work them out.  He is enjoying his retirement here now, well earned & deserved.

Spirit enjoying his retirement 

Only as I grew a little as a rider that I thought perhaps that comment wasn’t so complementary.  For my horse to “tolerate” my riding wasn’t what I wanted, and considering we were trying to improve and working from a fairly low base point, it stuck with me.  I didn’t want my horse to just tolerate me,  that kind of relationship wasn’t one I was comfortable with.    It prompted me to work  harder on myself in and out of the saddle to not make his job so hard.

The way we describe someone or comments we make can have a long-lasting impact.  Perhaps it was a compliment as to the temperament of my forgiving horse, or perhaps it was a way of criticising a learning rider.  Only the person making the comment knows its true intention, but it was never forgotten.

So, we progressed and meeting Ian was a big part of the journey from that point on.  I give him a lot of credit for the perspective I developed and confidence that grew, and how I interpreted this comment to ensure it was a positive to draw upon.   Now, I am thankful that this experience stuck with me.  It reminds me of what my horse tolerates when I don’t get things right and inspires me to continue to improve my skills to give him a more confident and comfortable ridden life.

Most of all in my riding life it was three words written as feedback on an early dressage test that inspired me more than anything else.  Those words were “be more adventurous”.  I knew exactly what they meant.  I’d ridden a test with the handbrake on – I was tight and didn’t allow my horse to give what we both knew he had to offer.  I stifled him and it showed.   At that point in time, I made a commitment to take responsibility for and own the outcomes I created.

These words became and still remain my mantra, the thing I repeat silently to myself when things aren’t coming together.  They are the words I mutter out loud when I question my confidence and identify that I’m not giving my horse the best opportunity to relax, balance and work with purpose.  They are the words I repeat when I feel unmotivated to ride (yes, those days are there – particularly during the Tassie winter) and I think of the possibilities ahead.

So, I’ve learnt as a horsewoman I need to be:

  • Realistic
  • Responsible
  • Committed
  • Forgiving
  • Tolerate
  • Patient
  • Confident
  • Resilient
  • Relaxed
  • Adventurous
  • Courageous

My horse, well, he just needs to just be a horse.

When working on myself or working with others, this is key – taking charge of our own outcomes and celebrating loudly and proudly those small successes. Celebrate your own, and those around you – the secret to success is that you are never alone.  Whether it be the support of friends, family or the companionship of your horse, this is not a solitary journey.

And as always, these lessons are learnt & taught one step at a time.

Liz Leighton © June 2017

Posted on 6 Comments

That whole life balance thing

It’s been a while since I’ve written an update, and I’ve made a lot of critical decisions during this time. The most critical thing is with the support of myLiz & Gibson 1 amazing husband I’m moving away from my corporate life and concentrating on what’s truly important. Reclaiming the balance in my life.

For too long, my life-balancing attempt has been like walking a tightrope, juggling flaming batons (that would look rather spectacular), whilst wondering what to cook for dinner, looking after family, thinking about what I need to get done at the corporate job in a 38-hour week (which usually runs around 50 hours), lamenting how many girlfriends I haven’t caught up with in the past 3 months, running the property and horses whilst Ian is away teaching, and scheduling and administering our own business. We really do have a great life, it’s just that mostly it felt like I was missing the living it part.

Liz & Gibson 2We talk at home a lot about balance, mostly it’s about horses, balancing their diet and training, teaching them to balance their bodies and carry themselves in a manner which is conducive to long term well-being and soundness, and occasionally we delve into the whole “work/life balance” discussion.  Recently, Ian wrote about some riders of green horses and said “they stay tight in the saddle and are sort of stuck in a position and miss the opportunities”. That was me, I was tightly in the grips of the corporate squeeze, stuck and missing life’s opportunities. What it took to release myself was pretty severe, and something I could never have done without the love and support of my husband, family and close friends. I gave notice on the corporate job.

Now I’m planning my professional extraction. Sounds dramatic doesn’t it, hoping those guys from tactical response will rappel down from a black-hawk overhead, clip me on and winch me up, but in reality it’s quite confronting, takes some degree of courage and requires me to take that first step. It’s one of those take a deep breath and have confidence in yourself moments that life presents from time to time. When you’ve given a lot of your life to your profession and take pride in the work you’ve done whilst maintaining that fine line between what sits comfortably with your values and ethics and the pressure and stress of corporate life, it’s quite confronting.

I always liked to think of myself as a person defined by who I am, not what I do. The social question, of “so what do you do for a living” seems so often to be the measure by which so many opinions are first formed. Giving up the career defining persona of 30 years and venturing into a new era is something that both excites me and challenges my need for security. I have a passion for our business, learning, refining and teaching horsemanship and encouraging others to be adventurous and courageous, empathetic and supportive. Now is the time to rebalance and focus on where the heart lies.

There’s this theory that there are two determining influences in our behaviour, one is love and the other is fear. When put simply, we can choose to act, make decisions and interact with others out of love, or out of fear. For me, making decisions based on love (where for me love can be defined as acting ethically, openly and honestly) provides a degree of clarify of where I need to be heading, and reinforces the confidence needed to go in that direction. It is far more satisfying, almost relieving, to make decisions based on this kind of thought process. It is far easier to choose life’s direction based on what we love and the feeling that this creates and resonates throughout our whole being, than making choices based on what we fear, want to avoid or are afraid of.

So really, I just made a decision out of love (I could have just started this whole working kendricpiece with this – but honestly it took me the above paragraphs to process this into words). In some respects, this situation resonates with me in the other critical part of my life, my relationship with my horses and the challenges that I face.   Any doubts or reservations are based on this fear based thought process, and recognising this is critically important. If I need to make choices, then they need to be based on love, and not driven by fear.

I’ve read a little lately about riders making life changing decisions based on fear, reservation, a lack of confidence in their emotional ability to change mentally and or physically, and most importantly without embracing the fact that decisions made from fear are rarely made with a positive outcome in mind. They are based on avoidance, rather than embracing the challenge ahead. If you are going to make a life changing decision, make it based on a love of the outcome, and make it a life defining deep breath moment.

When I think about what it means to get my life balance right, these are my new found basics.

  1. Eat, sleep and breathe right – sounds simple, but too often this balance is not maintained. So I commit to myself that I will work on these things every day – out of love to myself. Honestly, we only get one body and this one has to do me for many years to come.
  2. Life a life full of comfort – and not just a comfortable life. Comfort comes in the simplest and honest of forms – embrace the small things that come your way.
  3. Work at doing what you are passionate about, and success will follow. I wrote a lesson to myself a while ago – success is not material or always obvious – but when you feel it, celebrate! I will celebrate more often.
  4. We all have financial commitments in life, they are still there and have to be maintained but they can’t be the focus or reason for each breath I take.

Liz & Kendric 1
Liz enjoying some time with Kendric

As always, each journey in life is taken one foot in front of the other. I will live a life of opportunity, ride with a commitment and relaxation only found through passion and self-belief, and not a life of regret.

So, for a while I’m going to rebalance and embrace life as a horse-wife and focus on what’s important – truly important – and that is to live making decisions that are right for my well-being and that of my family, and live that life happily – one step at a time.

Liz Leighton © 30 March 2016

Posted on 4 Comments

Thoughts for Horse People and Essential Elements

kendric smiling (2)

I’ll start by saying the following thoughts for horse people and essential elements are based on a simple analysis of what I see and know about myself and how this might relate to other riders.  These words and thoughts are more about me, and how I perceive myself in my relationship to horses and those who I’ve been fortunate to have encountered on my journey.  It’s not written to be an intellectual monologue or scientific thesis; it’s designed to make me think about where I’m at, and to share my journey with others who care to read.  I write in language I understand, in plain simple English terms because at the end of the day it will be me re-reading these thoughts from time to time.

Life is already complicated enough without over complicating the language we use to record it.  These words serve to remind me of those moments when I had enough clarity of thought in my horsemanship journey to write in a way that will remind me later if I lose sight of where I want to go.

To me, horsemanship encompasses all disciplines, styles, techniques, groundwork and ridden, husbandry, psychology, physiology, in fact every interaction we ever have with a horse either directly or indirectly to me is horsemanship.  It’s not defined by competition, attire, equipment or social or geographic boundaries.  However, I believe a horseman or horsewoman is someone who embraces all aspects of horsemanship, and throws in a whole heap of themselves in an empathetic, sympathetic, encouraging, educational, respectful, thoughtful and open-minded manner.

I have read and studied behavioural aspects of self-improvement and self-discovery (helps having been raised by an incredibly talented mother, who has dedicated the last 50 years of her life to the study of health, sub-conscious learning and development, and personal coaching), and my background in business and risk management.  I am also fortunate to have had exposure to extremes of behaviour in both horse and horseman, and seen both the positive and negative results.  I have by association had great opportunities to look at both myself and the students who have worked with us over the years, and gained some knowledge and insight from some great horse people.   For them I am grateful.

Whatever form of horsemanship philosophy, program, values or techniques people choose to follow, here are a few essential elements I need to remind myself of from time to time.

Defining Success

This is a short one, whatever makes you feel like you have achieved something, however small.  It’s what makes you feel good.

Great success is always built on those small achievements.  From just leading your horse without conflict, to getting that footfall balanced and soft,  to riding that swing to get your best score in a dressage test, don’t ever underestimate those first small achievements, or fail to celebrate them.   Don’t ever forget that, even when you hit a roadblock, there is always a small achievement made even if you learn what not to do.

Lesson: Success is not material or always obvious – but when you feel it, celebrate!

The semantics debate

This is one area that I struggle with.  I’ve discovered that what I read and hear and how I interpret those words may sometimes have a different meaning to me from that intended.  This is particularly evident when discussions arise between people with different belief systems, mind-sets, learning styles, education, experience or backgrounds.  Throw in social media discussions, and it can not only be confusing, but very confronting.

Horse training discussion in our household sometimes requires clarification and agreement on a term or explanation, and we talk through these perspectives or technical interpretations to get on the same page.   It’s taught me to find language that enables the discovery of the outcome sought rather than the use of stringent language or indoctrinated interpretation.   It’s also enabled me to take instruction from my husband, who I consider a great teacher and proponent of the art of horsemanship, confident that discussion regarding how, what and when I should be doing something will be met with an explanation that resonates with me.  Ever notice how a good teacher can explain the same thing in more than one way, and a group of students will all understand and achieve the same outcome.  A great teacher never stops honing his craft, and exploring new ideas, techniques and ways to impart this in a clear and concise manner to their students.  Language, learning and communication styles vary, not much wonder it all very confusing.  This has taught me to ask for clarity, and to seek out teachers who value this.

Even for those who speak it, the English language can be complicated and not always overly clear, and when translated or communicated the intention or meaning can be distorted, misconstrued or totally misunderstood.  There is often more than one meaning depending on the context in which it is used, by the use of punctuation or emphasis or inflection in speech.   Throw in the body language in the physical presentation, and it’s a complex form of communication which can be altered to suit the purpose of delivery and the intention of the message.

There is no clear and concise dictionary on the use of common horsemanship or training terms, nor can many of them agree on a clear definition.  Certainly, there are technical and scientific definitions in regards to areas such as specific discipline training movements, biomechanics, veterinary science, but how to define and interpret human emotions and values when it comes to horsemanship is diverse.

Each horsemanship book I have read, or video watched, offers differing philosophies and techniques, some vary significantly and others following a similar process.  I doubt you would get consensus on them all to agree on everything, although if you read enough of them you will notice commonalities in philosophy.  Sifting through them all isn’t an easy task for the moderately experienced, let along the novice.

As the art of horsemanship is subjective and interpretative, taught, performed and conveyed by people with different belief systems, backgrounds, and theories, agreeing on a happy medium can be difficult.  People will by nature be drawn to those who share the same belief system, share core values, and in short, make them feel good about what they are doing.   There is no one way, no right way, there are a combination of ways that work together, and there are those that clearly have no place in good horsemanship.

This has taught me to seek clarity where there is misunderstanding, and to seek out teachers who value this discussion. And it reminds me to be patient as I work through the explanation with a willing student, so that we all end up on the same page.   My husband says “If people get confused by other people imagine how confused horses get by people.”  He is right!

Lesson: all knowledge is valuable, seek clarification, and only experience will tell you what works for you.

How you are; not who you are

There is no doubt that most people have the best intentions when it comes to their horsemanship, usually based on their personal set of values.  The vast majority of horse owners and those who work with them have the best interests of horse welfare first and foremost in their minds.  A variable is what’s in the best interests of the welfare of the horse is debatable, and there is vast polarization in what is best. Whatever training techniques you choose, methods, programs or style, either based on your own experience or on the lessons and learnings from others is fine, be mindful of what is in the best interests of the physical and physiological welfare of the horse. If it impacts on how you are and your comfort in progressing down that path, you might need to re-evaluate your direction.

Let’s not forget safety, make sure that whatever suits your beliefs is also safe for you and the horse.  There is something soulful in taking those moments of just being with your horse, as long as that being isn’t being run over, being pushed aside, being dominated at feed time or being treated like the lowest ranking social member of the herd.

I’ve been known to tell myself to be more courageous (thanks to a great horsewoman who many years ago encouraged me with three words written on a dressage test “be more adventurous”) and take the handbrake off and just ride and live life with more purpose.  Doesn’t mean I’m reckless, I’m conservative by nature, but if I’m true to myself working with horses does require certain fortitude to remain safe.

I often see and have people tell me they are not assertive personality people generally in their lives, and this can create issues when working with horses.  For some reason, the term “assertive” is sometimes construed in horsemanship in a negative context, perceived as aggressive, dogmatic, demanding or dominant.  If you were to look up the definition of assertive, you would find many different terms used to describe an assertive person (including those quoted). What happens when this term is used and it doesn’t fit with your own personal definition and is in conflict with your core values? No-one including me, would like to be perceived as aggressive, dogmatic or demanding, despite the many positive aspects of being an assertive person.

Others are professionally assertive, but when it comes to their relationship with their horse they adopt a more nurturing and sometimes even submissive role in their relationship. Sometimes it’s tough being tough in all aspects of your life, and it’s hard work when this conflicts with your natural persona.

If I use the term “confident presence” as a substitute for assertive when dealing with horses, it conveys a different message, one of self-reliance and certainty. In most of my reading and based on my interpretation, this is a good mid-ground substitute. If you describe yourself as being a person with “confident presence”, that’s a real positive.

Developing confident presence in horsemanship for some takes time. It mostly comes from experience; those who are by nature more confident tend to get there more quickly under instruction. For those who don’t have this by nature, it needs to be nurtured and developed, in such a way as to not manifest in frustration, aggression, disappointment or anger. How you are inside, how your body moves and how you feel about things are all things your horse will notice.  They won’t be offended by your confident presence; in fact they will come to embrace you as the one who keeps them safe. Work on how you feel when doing anything around your horse, breathe deeply and relax, be fair in your actions and your reactions.

I don’t’ think there is any dispute that working with a horse requires confident presence. It is the same quality demonstrated by the lead horse in a herd. It’s a great positive in life overall, and one that can only improve your overall horsemanship.

Lesson:  Having confident presence is important to my horse, and how it feels and responds when with me.

Respect

There, I typed it!  One of the most controversial terms used in horsemanship. It is loved by many and treated with distain by others. So what does it mean to me, and why is it so important? Short answer, to me it’s that I care about my well-being and my horse, and that staying safe for both of us matters. And not that it matters a little bit, it matters a whole lot.

As human beings and particularly as a parent, we try to instill the value of respect for others in our children. Or at least we hope that we do and that they carry this with them as a core value in the way they live their life and interact with others. Respect is a two way thing. Without both sides equally co-operating and demonstrating consideration for the other, it fails. There is a general consensus, respect is given, and trust is earned. Respect can just as easily be taken away, as trust can be lost.

I could look for an alternative term, we could call it mutual co-operation, I sure like to think that I work as a team with my horse, but at the end of the day in my horse world I am responsible for most of the critical decisions. In my world, demonstrating consistent confident presence in training creates respect. It’s not about force, dominance, negative or positive reinforcement (there’s a thesis right there but I think it’s been done enough for those interested to read up on ), and a whole host of other training terminology and theory that the average person can not only be confused by but get totally lost in.

It’s not respect for equipment, but respect for me. It’s my horse clearly understanding, albeit with the allowance for mistakes during those early training sessions, that my decisions are good ones, and that he trusts me to make them. That’s respect to me in horse training.  I don’t make him respect me, it has to be given, and it comes with consistent training, the way I move, subtle or direct body language, my thoughts, and feel and timing (that’s what to do, how to do it and when to do it and just as important when to release or stop doing it), and doing this consistently.  That means, all the time.  It’s not ok to be inconsistent; it’s confusing to my horse.

This respect and trust is not a given, and cannot be forced. The more effectively you can demonstrate to a horse you are a person with confident presence, and behave in a consistent, empathetic and trustworthy manner, the shorter the journey to achieving respect and trust.

Lesson: Respect is not a negative thing, when taught and encouraged with empathy, feel and timing it fosters trust with benefits to both horseman and horse.

Discover your “why”

I can’t take credit for this, it originates from a TED talk by Simon Sinek – ‘How great leaders inspire action’.  It provoked me to think a lot about my personal values, how they interlink with my professional life, and the direction in which I choose to travel.

Your “why” is what motivates you.  It’s not material based, not wealth based and it’s personal. It forms the basis for your values.

I started to think about my “why” in relation to horsemanship and what it means to me a while ago.    It’s not about winning ribbons, trophies, being famous or wealthy, it’s that driving essence inside which is almost undefinable. Without it, passion doesn’t ignite. For me, it’s what makes me a better person. Horsemanship brings out some of my greatest qualities, and exposes my vulnerabilities.  It is the exhilaration and satisfaction when something clicks, and the fear of failure when it doesn’t. There is nothing else like it in my world. Sometimes it is raw, and my horse sees it all. I can’t hide this from my horse.

Ask yourself, “why”. There is a thrill associated with horsemanship for some, and a quiet calmness for others. For some it’s just being around them invokes their “why”, for others they need to strip back the gloss and make this discovery. Your “why” is personal to you, it’s not competitive or judgmental, it might only make sense to you, but that is its intention and purpose on this journey.  It’s not about what you want, plenty of people want to have a great relationship with their horse, but they need to ask themselves why.  Why is it so important that we dedicate so much time to this pursuit? It’s not just a recreational activity, horse ownership and training is a demanding, time-consuming and costly exercise, good weather and bad, so why do we do it?

Find your why, and you will open the door to a whole world of self-belief and confident presence.

Lesson: Take time to identify your “why” and revisit it often.  It will inspire and motivate you to work through difficult times and make you a better horseman or horsewoman.

working kendricSo, these are my thoughts that I need to record for now. From time to time I’ll revisit them as a reminder of what makes me function as a better student of the art.

Horsemanship is a journey, how far and in what direction you go is up to you.

 

For me that journey is forward, without forward there is no progression, and as always my progression is made one step at a time.

Liz Leighton © 4 April 2015

Posted on 9 Comments

Ride One Step at a Time

Liz riding her horse Spirit back when things were going along nicely.
Liz riding her horse Spirit back when things were going along nicely.

Today
The starting part is sometimes the hardest part.  Deciding what to start my blog with wasn’t the easiest of things, so I thought I’d start at the beginning.  Then deciding what was the beginning was the hardest part, so I made an executive decision that today was going to be the beginning.  Not tomorrow, not yesterday, but right here right now.

So seeing I decided that today was the beginning, I decided that today is the beginning of the next chapter of my life with horses, and how I feel about what I am doing and the commitment I am prepared to make.  I’ve drifted a little over the last few years, had an unexpected serious non-horse related injury which frustrated me both physically and mentally, and I lost focus on what was important and where my priorities were.  Firstly the physical recovery consumed my time, then returning work and resuming my career was essential, my family took time priority and even the dirty laundry was important – hard to admit but my inability to hang washing on the line made me feel vulnerable and useless.  I defined myself as a person who could and would have it all – and being physically dependent was shattering.

Reclaiming the basic things in life that I took for granted after surgery was important, and I needed to prove that I could get back to where I was.  My family sometimes wore the brunt of my frustrations, and I became resentful that I was working hard to get back to where I was and my efforts weren’t recognised.  I felt left behind and exhausted.

Physio helps the physical, what fixes the mind isn’t quite that simple.  Somewhere along the way I think I pushed the mental recovery aside and allowed other things to consume and occupy my days.  My recovery has come a long way, but it’s still a work in progress.

The fact that the body no longer operates like it used to is frustrating, and my riding has taken a huge step backwards.  Even when cleared to ride 12 months after surgery, the excuses continued, not because I was fearful or worried about the riding, but I guess I was fearful of disappointing myself and letting my horse down.  Riding after serious injury can leave you unbalanced and uncoordinated, weak and uncertain.  Even hours of physio can’t prepare you fully for a return to the saddle.  So I made excuses – and made myself miserable in the process.

Looking back, I don’t know how I let this happen, but I can only take responsibility for it myself.  After all, I am in charge of my own life, my own time and doing what makes me happy.

So today, I claimed it back.  Today I made some promises to myself, to be braver, more adventurous and acknowledge that finding time for me and my horses is the right thing for me as a person.  To be a better rider I need to ride, to retrain the body I need to ride, to find myself I need to ride.

Sometimes you need to find the thing that makes you happy, internally happy, and it makes you a better person.  For me, that better person is the person who prioritises my horses and the time I take with them, that better person becomes a better wife, mother, daughter and friend, and I’m sure my horses think that better person is great to be around.  I sure like that person a lot more too.

So, this blog is a little about me, and others like me.  Those that have aspirations to be the best horse person they can be, to overcome those frustrations and excuses we all find ourselves making, and the way forward from today.   We will discuss topics and be supportive and help each other, and celebrate all our achievements, big and small, all with a smile and a sense of humour.

Today we celebrate where we are today, we acknowledge all the great things that got us to this point, and set a plan.  My plan is simple, my plan is to ride one step at a time.  How far I take that ride is completely in my hands.  What’s your plan?