That whole life balance thing

It’s been a while since I’ve written an update, and I’ve made a lot of critical decisions during this time. The most critical thing is with the support of my amazing husband I’m moving away from my corporate life and concentrating on what’s truly important. Reclaiming the balance in my life.

For too long, my life-balancing attempt has been like walking a tightrope, juggling flaming batons (that would look rather spectacular), whilst wondering what to cook for dinner, looking after family, thinking about what I need to get done at the corporate job in a 38-hour week (which usually runs around 50 hours), lamenting how many girlfriends I haven’t caught up with in the past 3 months, running the property and horses whilst Ian is away teaching, and scheduling and administering our own business. We really do have a great life, it’s just that mostly it felt like I was missing the living it part.

We talk at home a lot about balance, mostly it’s about horses, balancing their diet and training, teaching them to balance their bodies and carry themselves in a manner which is conducive to long term well-being and soundness, and occasionally we delve into the whole “work/life balance” discussion.  Recently, Ian wrote about some riders of green horses and said “they stay tight in the saddle and are sort of stuck in a position and miss the opportunities”. That was me, I was tightly in the grips of the corporate squeeze, stuck and missing life’s opportunities. What it took to release myself was pretty severe, and something I could never have done without the love and support of my husband, family and close friends. I gave notice on the corporate job.

Now I’m planning my professional extraction. Sounds dramatic doesn’t it, hoping those guys from tactical response will rappel down from a black-hawk overhead, clip me on and winch me up, but in reality it’s quite confronting, takes some degree of courage and requires me to take that first step. It’s one of those take a deep breath and have confidence in yourself moments that life presents from time to time. When you’ve given a lot of your life to your profession and take pride in the work you’ve done whilst maintaining that fine line between what sits comfortably with your values and ethics and the pressure and stress of corporate life, it’s quite confronting.

I always liked to think of myself as a person defined by who I am, not what I do. The social question, of “so what do you do for a living” seems so often to be the measure by which so many opinions are first formed. Giving up the career defining persona of 30 years and venturing into a new era is something that both excites me and challenges my need for security. I have a passion for our business, learning, refining and teaching horsemanship and encouraging others to be adventurous and courageous, empathetic and supportive. Now is the time to rebalance and focus on where the heart lies.

There’s this theory that there are two determining influences in our behaviour, one is love and the other is fear. When put simply, we can choose to act, make decisions and interact with others out of love, or out of fear. For me, making decisions based on love (where for me love can be defined as acting ethically, openly and honestly) provides a degree of clarify of where I need to be heading, and reinforces the confidence needed to go in that direction. It is far more satisfying, almost relieving, to make decisions based on this kind of thought process. It is far easier to choose life’s direction based on what we love and the feeling that this creates and resonates throughout our whole being, than making choices based on what we fear, want to avoid or are afraid of.

So really, I just made a decision out of love (I could have just started this whole piece with this – but honestly it took me the above paragraphs to process this into words). In some respects, this situation resonates with me in the other critical part of my life, my relationship with my horses and the challenges that I face.   Any doubts or reservations are based on this fear based thought process, and recognising this is critically important. If I need to make choices, then they need to be based on love, and not driven by fear.

I’ve read a little lately about riders making life changing decisions based on fear, reservation, a lack of confidence in their emotional ability to change mentally and or physically, and most importantly without embracing the fact that decisions made from fear are rarely made with a positive outcome in mind. They are based on avoidance, rather than embracing the challenge ahead. If you are going to make a life changing decision, make it based on a love of the outcome, and make it a life defining deep breath moment.

When I think about what it means to get my life balance right, these are my new found basics.

1. Eat, sleep and breathe right – sounds simple, but too often this balance is not maintained. So I commit to myself that I will work on these things every day – out of love to myself. Honestly, we only get one body and this one has to do me for many years to come.
2. Life a life full of comfort – and not just a comfortable life. Comfort comes in the simplest and honest of forms – embrace the small things that come your way.
3. Work at doing what you are passionate about, and success will follow. I wrote a lesson to myself a while ago – success is not material or always obvious – but when you feel it, celebrate! I will celebrate more often.
4. We all have financial commitments in life, they are still there and have to be maintained but they can’t be the focus or reason for each breath I take.

As always, each journey in life is taken one foot in front of the other. I will live a life of opportunity, ride with a commitment and relaxation only found through passion and self-belief, and not a life of regret.

So, for a while I’m going to rebalance and embrace life as a horse-wife and focus on what’s important – truly important – and that is to live making decisions that are right for my well-being and that of my family, and live that life happily – one step at a time.

Liz Leighton © 30 March 2016